Kanade's Room
Kanade
...
Kanade
(I can't go back and change what happened that day...)
Kanade
(There's no use in wanting to...)
Kanade
I have to keep composing.
That's all I can do now...
That's all I can do now...
Ena
<Huh? K?
You're still working?>
You're still working?>
Kanade
Oh...
Kanade
<Did you already take that bath?>
Ena
<Yeah, I feel pretty refreshed now.
I might actually be able to finish one of my illustrations.>
I might actually be able to finish one of my illustrations.>
Kanade
<Okay. I'll be working like normal, so let me know if anything comes up.>
Ena
<Okay, I will.>
Ena
<Hey, K, I wanna ask you something...>
Ena
<My illustration for the post-chorus feels kinda dark at the moment, but I'm wondering if I should add a little more light... What do you think?>
Kanade
<Well...
...>
...>
Ena
<K...?>
Kanade
<Oh, sorry...
I was thinking about something else, so I couldn't gather my thoughts properly.>
I was thinking about something else, so I couldn't gather my thoughts properly.>
Ena
<Oh, are you talking about your future...?>
Kanade
<It's not bothering me that much, but it does keep nagging at me.>
Ena
<Right...>
Kanade
<But I'm okay...
I feel a lot better after talking with Rin just now.>
I feel a lot better after talking with Rin just now.>
Ena
<Wait, with Rin?>
Kanade
<Yes...>
Kanade
<I tried thinking about what I want to do, but I couldn't come up with anything...>
Kanade
<However, there was a time when I really loved music more than anything else...>
Ena
<Really...?>
Ena
<Can you tell me why...?>
Kanade
<Sure. My happiest memories all seem to involve music in some way...>
Kanade
<My mom and dad always smiled whenever they heard a song that I composed.>
Kanade
<I really loved those moments...>
Ena
<I see...>
Ena
<That explains why your songs feel so warm, K.>
Kanade
<What...?>
Ena
<The memories you just mentioned might be the source of the warmth I feel in your songs. It makes so much sense now.>
Ena
<So, are you gonna keep composing after you graduate?>
Kanade
<Oh, um... Yes.
I plan to keep on composing.>
I plan to keep on composing.>
Kanade
<Especially... Since that's what I need to do...>
Ena
<What...?>
Ena
<Wait, what do you mean...?>
Kanade
<...>
Kanade
<I realized something while talking about this...>
Kanade
<No matter how many songs I do compose, I'll never be able to feel the warmth I did back then ever again...>
Ena
<Oh...>
Kanade
<I know there's nothing I can do about that now...>
Kanade
<But my dad losing his ability to compose is still my fault...>
Kanade
<That's why I need to keep composing. For him. For everyone.>
Ena
<S-Stop right there for a second!>
Kanade
<Huh...?>
Ena
<What about...>
Ena
<What about your happiness, K?>
Kanade
<My happiness...?>
Kanade
<If I can compose songs that save others, then I'll...>
Ena
<Kanade, listen.>
Kanade
<Huh...?>
Ena
<I know you feel awful about what happened to your dad, but there's no point in beating yourself up...>
Ena
<What I'm trying to say is... I think your happiness is a separate issue.>
Ena
<Personally, I don't want those two things being so closely tied together...!>
Ena
<I mean, you're working so hard for the sake of others...! You deserve to be happy too!>
Kanade
<Oh...>
Kanade's Mother
Wanting to learn how to write wonderful songs like your father is a beautiful dream.
Kanade's Mother
But I'll be happy as long as you find something that makes you happy, Kanade.
Kanade
<But...>
???
<I agree with what she's saying.>
Ena
<Huh?>
Kanade
<KAITO...?>
KAITO
<You tried to suppress whatever you were feeling just now...>
Kanade
<What I was feeling...?>
KAITO
<Yes...>
KAITO
<You believe that you're not allowed to be happy. That you have no right to.>
KAITO
<Am I wrong...?>
Kanade
<I...>
KAITO
<What are you always telling Mafuyu...?>
KAITO
<To cherish her feelings.>
KAITO
<I'm okay with you composing songs in order to save others and make them feel happy.>
KAITO
<But I'm not okay with you turning a blind eye to what you're really feeling...>
Kanade
<What I'm really feeling...?>
Kanade
<B-But...>
Ena
<Actually, Kanade...>
Kanade
<Huh...?>
Ena
<Before you formed N25, and even now... The songs you've composed have helped me so much.>
Ena
<Every time I listen to one of your songs whenever I'm not feeling great... Whenever I wonder if I should continue drawing, the thought of creating art for N25 keeps me going.>
Kanade
<Ena...>
Ena
<Yeah, I feel pain sometimes when I'm working on an illustration... But I want to keep drawing.>
Ena
<Plus, I've actually started thinking about what I wanna do after I graduate.>
Ena
<I doubt I'd be giving that any serious thought if I hadn't joined N25...>
Kanade
<...>
Ena
<I mean, Kanade.>
Ena
<You're the reason why I'm even thinking about my own future.>
Ena
<It's a small step, but I have something to work towards now...>
Ena
<So, Kanade...
I think you should also do what makes you the happiest.>
I think you should also do what makes you the happiest.>
KAITO
<If there is something you wish to do, you shouldn't fight against it.>
KAITO
<Because there's no way you'll be able to save her if you don't cherish your own feelings.>
Kanade
<Oh...>
Ena
<KAITO, wait!
Ugh. He always storms off after saying whatever it is that's on his mind...>
Ugh. He always storms off after saying whatever it is that's on his mind...>
Kanade
<...>
Kanade
(Is it really okay for me to do that...?)
Kanade
(Am I allowed to feel the way I did back then...?)
Kanade
(But I robbed Dad of his future...)
Kanade
(Still...)
Kanade
(If....it's okay...)
Kanade
If it's actually okay, then...
Next Chapter: The Way I Played That Day