Whip Yourself into Shape! - 5: A Similar Feeling

Live House

Backstage

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Ken

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Alright, go show them what you've got!

An, Kohane, Akito & Toya

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We will!!

Akito

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Alright, let's begin our debrief.
We'll start like always by talking about what we could've done better.

Kohane

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Okay, so... I feel like we could've done a slightly better job today of building up anticipation during the pre-chorus...

Toya

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...

A few months later

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Kohane

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Phew...
Another exhausting day.

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Tell me about it!
I'm probably gonna collapse on my bed when I get home.

Kohane

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Hehe. I know the feeling.
Like when you start nodding off while drying your hair after taking a nice bath.

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Exactly!
Then you sleep like a log, and all of a sudden you open your eyes and it's morning.

Kohane

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In that sense, our lifestyle's been really hectic lately.

Kohane

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But...

Kohane

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I can't thank your dad enough, An.
I've been having a lot of fun improving so much.

Kohane

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An... I promise to try harder.
So that we can surpass RAD WEEKEND together.

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...
*Nod*

Kohane

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Oh no! The light's about to turn red!
See you later, An!

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Okay!
Get home safe!

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An's Room

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*Sigh*

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(What am I doing...?)

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(Ever since that day, I've been trying to figure out what to do about these feelings.)

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(But it happened again today...)

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Kohane

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An... I promise to try harder.
So that we can surpass RAD WEEKEND together.

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(I couldn't genuinely smile back at her...)

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(I couldn't...look her in the eye...)

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(I can't let things go on like this...)

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(But what am I supposed to do...?)

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Luka

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Why don't you just tell her everything?

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(Tell her...)

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(But if I did that...)

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A message? But it's so late...
Who's it from...?

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Huh?

Thirty minutes later

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He should be somewhere around... Aha!

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Toya!

Toya

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Sorry, Shiraishi.
I know it's late.

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No, that's totally fine!

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But what are you doing out so late?
We could've talked after practice, you know?

Toya

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I wasn't sure it was the best time to do it.

Toya

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I was hoping we could talk when neither Akito nor Azusawa were around.

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Huh?

Toya

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The truth is, there's something I realized I have to say to you regarding the problem you told us about a few months ago.

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...!
Do you mean...?!

Toya

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Remember what Luka suggested when you talked to us? She said that you may want to try telling Azusawa what you've been feeling...

Toya

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But you chose not to.
Are you with me so far?

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Uh... Yeah.

Toya

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I couldn't get the way you looked that time out of my head.

Toya

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Because it reminded me of someone else.

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It did...?

Toya

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Yes.
I wasn't sure...until now.

Toya

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But you're repeating the same mistake.

Toya

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The one I made when I tried to leave BAD DOGS.

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What?

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Toya

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That time, I tried to leave without actually telling Akito how I felt.

Toya

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I was afraid of telling him that I didn't have a big dream like he did. I was afraid of telling him the truth.

Toya

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Because...

Toya

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I was afraid of disappointing him.

Toya

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I agreed to chase after his dream as his partner, so I didn't want to let him down... I was afraid of what he'd say.

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You were afraid...?

Toya

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Don't you feel the same way, Shiraishi...?

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Um...

Toya

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I have the feeling that you're afraid of what Azusawa is going to say if you decide to tell her the truth.

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(I'm afraid...?)

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(Is that what's been going on with me...?)

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(Have I been...?)

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...

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Yeah, you might be right.

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When you put it all together like that, it becomes obvious that I've been super scared.

Toya

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...

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Which means...
I'm also afraid of letting Kohane down.

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I mean...

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Every time she looks my way, her eyes sparkle.

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Plus, she always talks about how exciting the way I sing is, that I'm really cool... And how she looks up to me.

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But... I'm none of those things.

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I'm really just scared and weak... More than I realized...

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I know I just have to keep trying, but every time I hear Kohane sing, it brings back that anxiety...

Toya

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Shiraishi...

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I'm pretty sure that Kohane won't feel disappointed or anything after she sees the real me.

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I have a feeling that she'll say she still looks up to me regardless of who I really am.

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Which means I'm getting all scared over nothing.

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But...

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I don't want things to be that way.

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I don't want Kohane to see how lame I really am. I don't want her to know.

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I want her to genuinely believe in me...

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Which is why... I don't want to tell her anything.

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When I said how I didn't want to tell her...
It wasn't really for her sake.

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I was just...trying to protect myself...

Toya

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I understand what you're saying.

Toya

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The more someone means to you, the greater the fear of disappointing them becomes.

Toya

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Which is why I also hid what I was feeling.

Toya

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However...

Toya

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I only felt like I was Akito's real partner after I told him the truth.

Toya

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Yes, the thought of disappointing someone is scary.

Toya

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But telling them the truth can lead to new doors opening.

Toya

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At least, that's what I believe.

Toya...

...
Okay.

Thanks.

Give me some time to think.

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About how I'm going to tell Kohane everything.

Next Chapter: Our Bout Begins