Saki's Room
Saki
What am I not remembering...?
Saki
Hmm... I dunno...
It'd be nice if I still have something from back then to jog my memory.
It'd be nice if I still have something from back then to jog my memory.
Saki
How about my correspondence notebook from school...? No, that only had the really important stuff in it, and my messages from back then have probably disappeared by now...
Saki
Didn't I write stuff down somewhere?
Aren't there any memos or...
Aren't there any memos or...
Saki
Wait, I remember now!
I kept a little journal back then!
I kept a little journal back then!
Saki
Originally, the doctor told me to write down how I was feeling each day to keep an eye on my symptoms...
Saki
Let's see. It should be around here...
Saki
Oh? Aha!
Saki
I'd totally forgotten about this, but this really takes me back. I'm pretty sure it's full of some really embarrassing stuff too...
Saki
When did those memories take place...? I wanna say it was May during my last year of junior high...
Saki
(I became really lonely because I had to transfer to this hospital that was really far away and I didn't know anybody there...)
Saki
(My hospital room was so eerily quiet that I decided to turn the TV on to break the silence.)
Saki
(I saw Happy Everyday then and literally rolled around on the floor laughing...)
Saki
(But after the show ended, I had to turn the TV off and go back to being all alone...)
Saki
(I felt even lonelier than I did before I turned the TV on, and the nurse walked in a bit later.)
Saki
(After that...
I heard those girls talking.)
I heard those girls talking.)
Junior High School Student A
Haha!
The teacher was so funny that time!
The teacher was so funny that time!
Junior High School Student A
Also, I can't wait for the school trip.
We should try sneaking out at night or something!
We should try sneaking out at night or something!
Junior High School Student B
But we'll get in big trouble if the teachers catch us.
Junior High School Saki
No fair...
They look like they're having so much fun...
They look like they're having so much fun...
Junior High School Saki
Ichi said over the phone that they'd be going on their school trip soon too...
Junior High School Saki
I wish I could go...
Junior High School Saki
...
Junior High School Saki
I don't wanna get left behind...
Junior High School Saki
They're all gonna go without me...
Junior High School Saki
All because I'm always getting sick...
Junior High School Saki
It's like I'm never allowed to be with them and make happy memories together...
Junior High School Saki
...
Junior High School Saki
Why am I like this...?
Junior High School Saki
Ever since I was little...
I've been in and out of hospitals all throughout elementary school and junior high...
I've been in and out of hospitals all throughout elementary school and junior high...
Junior High School Saki
I wasn't allowed to do anything “strenuous” even when I could go out and have fun, so that meant travelling was out of the question...
Junior High School Saki
And as much as I try to study...
There's no way I can catch up since I'm always stuck in a hospital room.
There's no way I can catch up since I'm always stuck in a hospital room.
Junior High School Saki
Even after working really hard to get into Miya Girls like the others...
Junior High School Saki
I thought I could finally be with them and have lots of fun...!
Junior High School Saki
...
Junior High School Saki
Why...?
Why am I so different?
Why am I so different?
Junior High School Saki
I wanted to go on the school trip like anyone else.
Junior High School Saki
And be in a club... And stop by to get something while we complained about how exhausted we all were...!
Junior High School Saki
That's why I took all those shots... That's why I took all those awful tests... They hurt so much...
Junior High School Saki
But I haven't gotten any better...
Tsukasa, Mom, Dad... I'm just a burden to everyone...!
Tsukasa, Mom, Dad... I'm just a burden to everyone...!
Junior High School Saki
I hate this...
I hate this so much...
I hate this so much...
Junior High School Saki
Why me...? Why am I like this...?
Junior High School Saki
Seriously... Why...?
I just don't get it...
I just don't get it...
Junior High School Saki
Am I gonna be like this forever...?
Junior High School Saki
Stuck in some hospital room... All alone... And not even be able to go to high school...
Junior High School Saki
No... I don't want that...
Junior High School Saki
I don't wanna be all alone...!
Saki
Now I understand...
I get why this song hasn't been going so well...
I get why this song hasn't been going so well...
Saki
I was doing my best to not remember the worst parts of what I went through...
Saki
Because it would've been too painful...
Plus...
Plus...
Saki
Because talking about it would make everyone really sad...
Saki
A part of me must've been afraid of my song making anyone feel like that after listening to it...
Saki
(But...)
Saki
(Saku's song went even further.)
Saki
(It dealt with what I was too scared of thinking about... It talked about that pain and sadness...)
Live House Audience
Saku's songs just have this way of getting to me.
Live House Audience
Yeah...
They always seem to find a way into my heart...
They always seem to find a way into my heart...
Saki
I can kinda see why too...
Saki
I have to write this...
I have to turn my feelings into music...!
I have to turn my feelings into music...!
Saki
Okay, the first verse can go like this. It'll sound like everyone's having fun during a long holiday... Except me...
Saki
No, wait...
Junior High School Saki
P-Please...
Junior High School Saki
Don't leave me behind...
Junior High School Saki
...?
Junior High School Saki
(Huh...? A message...?
From Ichi...?)
From Ichi...?)
Ichika
<How are you, Saki?>
Ichika
<I saw a funny-looking cloud today and decided to send over a picture of it. Doesn't it look delicious?>
Junior High School Saki
(A cloud...?
Oh, here's the picture...)
Oh, here's the picture...)
Junior High School Saki
Oh, she's right...
It looks like soft-serve ice cream.
It looks like soft-serve ice cream.
Ichika
<To be fair, it'd probably melt in your hands since the cone's also white...>
Junior High School Saki
Haha...
You're always such a stickler for those kinds of details, Ichi.
You're always such a stickler for those kinds of details, Ichi.
Ichika
<How's the weather over there? Is it sunny?>
Junior High School Saki
...
<Yeah, sunny but with some clouds.>
Huh...?
<Yeah, sunny but with some clouds.>
Huh...?
Junior High School Saki
Oh...
Junior High School Saki
<Ichi.
I can see a little ice cream cone from here.>
I can see a little ice cream cone from here.>
Ichika
<Really?! That's incredible...!>
Junior High School Saki
Hehe...
Junior High School Saki
<We can have it together♪
So, let's dig in!>
So, let's dig in!>
Ichika
<It's very cold, so don't eat it too fast lol.>
Junior High School Saki
Hehe...
Junior High School Saki
I'm looking up at the same sky as Ichi...
Junior High School Saki
It's like we're sitting right next to each other...
Saki
That's right...
Saki
Ichi was there for me that time.
Saki
(No, it wasn't just her...
Tsukasa, Mom, Dad...)
Tsukasa, Mom, Dad...)
Saki
Even Hona and Shiho were there for me too when I was so sad and in so much pain... They always understood...
Saki
Like they were saying, “We're right here. We're not leaving you behind.”
Saki
That felt so warm...
And it made me feel so happy.
And it made me feel so happy.
Saki
Which is probably why I was okay in the end...
Saki
Okay, I'm gonna put everything into this song. The good and the bad. The happy and the sad.
Saki
I know I'm dealing with a complex mix of emotions, but I've gotta dig deep...
Saki
I have to recall more...
The darker thoughts that lay beyond the loneliness I felt...
The darker thoughts that lay beyond the loneliness I felt...
Saki
And I'll turn it all into sound...!
Saki
*Sigh*
It's finally starting to take shape...
It's finally starting to take shape...
Saki
What?! It's five in the morning...?!
I gotta get in some sleep before school...!
I gotta get in some sleep before school...!
Saki
But...
Saki
I'd have to wait until after school and band practice to continue working on this song...
Saki
Okay, I'm gonna keep going...
Saki
If I stop now, I'll lose this momentum, so I'll just write as much as I can until I absolutely have to go to school.
Saki
And put everything I feel into it...!
Rehearsal Studio
Saki
Hey, everyone!
Honami
Oh, Saki, there you...
Honami
Th-Those bags under your eyes...!
Ichika
She came to school after pulling an all-nighter. Apparently, she decided to stay up after getting an idea for her song...
Saki
Hehe...
Honami
Are you sure you're okay, Saki?
Shiho
It's nice to see that you're working so hard on your song, but I'm not sure pulling an all-nighter is really worth it...
Saki
I'm totally fine!
We have tomorrow off, so I can sleep until noon♪
We have tomorrow off, so I can sleep until noon♪
Saki
Also, I absolutely wanna play this new song during our next show!
Ichika
During our next show...?
Honami
We don't even know when we'll be playing, do we?
Shiho
I was planning on bringing that up today, but I was thinking about scheduling it about a month from now...
Saki
Hey, that's awesome!
A month means we'll have a ton of time to practice our new song!
A month means we'll have a ton of time to practice our new song!
Shiho
Mind if I ask how much progress you've made on your song...?
Saki
In reality, it's only about half done...
But I have a really good idea of what I wanna do in my head!
But I have a really good idea of what I wanna do in my head!
Saki
I just have to work what's in my head into my song, so it should be done sometime today!
Ichika
Today...?!
Wait, Saki, you haven't had any sleep, right?
Wait, Saki, you haven't had any sleep, right?
Honami
Do you really need to hurry this much...?
Shiho
But in terms of our schedule, we might need her to since we need to practice it...
Shiho
We wouldn't have to for our usual stuff, but what Saki's writing now sort of differs from what we usually play as Leo/need.
Shiho
And since we'll be performing it on stage, I'm guessing we'll have to work on it a lot.
Honami
Shiho...
Ichika
S-Sure, I understand what you're trying to say...
Shiho
...
Saki
B-But I'm okay with that!
It doesn't matter if our show's one or two months away. I'm gonna finish our new song today.
It doesn't matter if our show's one or two months away. I'm gonna finish our new song today.
Ichika
What do you mean?
Saki
My goal right now is to turn what I'm feeling right now into music...
Saki
I'm afraid that I'll lose my grasp on this image I have in my head if I wait any longer...
Saki
So I'll keep at it until tomorrow!
Once it's done, we'll practice it lots and really make it resonate with everyone at that live house!
Once it's done, we'll practice it lots and really make it resonate with everyone at that live house!
Saki
D-Don't you guys agree?!
Honami
If that's what you want to do, you have my support...
Shiho
Honami...
Honami
To be honest, I don't want you to push yourself too hard, but I can't stop you now since your mind seems to already be made up.
Honami
Also, I believe this is what's best for us. For Leo/need...
Saki
*Gasp*
Hona...!
Hona...!
Ichika
What do you think, Shiho...?
Shiho
Alright, let's do it...
Shiho
However, in return, Saki, if you start not feeling great at all, you have to take a break. Also, ask us if you ever need any help.
Shiho
If you can promise me that, then I won't stop you...
Saki
O-Okay...!
I promise!
I promise!
Saki
Thank you all so much...!
I'm gonna try my best!
I'm gonna try my best!
Next Chapter: Until I Get These Feelings Out