Hope Will Someday Go Beyond the Morning - 6: Why I Don't Know

Several tens of minutes later

Ena's Room

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1

Len

<Wow, that's so cool...
You really are drawing her.>

2

Mafuyu

Ena, what sort of expression do you need me to make...?

3

Ena

Your usual one should be fine.

4

Mafuyu

Okay.

5

Ena

(Honestly, I wasn't expecting to actually do a drawing of her...)

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6

Ena

(She's so expressionless... It's like I'm drawing a sculpture.)

7

Len

<You really are a good artist, Ena...>

8

Len

<And it's so admirable how you're still trying to get better...>

9

Ena

I'm not good or anything.

10

Ena

But I do want to get better.

11

Ena

To be fair, each day feels like a struggle since no matter how much I draw, I keep getting told how awful my drawings are.

12

Len

<Ena...>

13

Ena

But this is what I want to do.
This is the path I've chosen.

14

Ena

I don't care what anyone says.
I'm not gonna stop drawing.

15

Mafuyu

...

16

Ena

I know me doing this makes my mom really worried sometimes.

17

Ena

But I honestly think that doing art is what suits me best.

18

Mafuyu

What suits you best...?

19

Ena

Yeah. So, why don't you try telling your mom what you really want to do?

20

Ena

Including the part about your synth...

21

Mafuyu

I already told her that I don't want to stop...

22

Ena

What...?

23

Mafuyu

I told her that I know that I need to study but also want to keep making music...

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24

Ena

Wait, you did?!

25

Ena

(She already tried...?)

26

Mafuyu

And she said that I'm free to do as I wish...

27

Ena

Really? Then...

28

Mafuyu

But she also told me to not regret my decision...

29

Ena

What...?

30

Mafuyu

She was telling me to think about my future and not make regretful choices...

31

Ena

Huh? What's she talking about...?
Why would you regret making music?

32

Mafuyu

I don't think that's what she was talking about...

33

Mafuyu

Knowing her, she was probably more focused on my future...

34

Mafuyu

By becoming a doctor, I'll be able to help many people and live comfortably...

35

Ena

Yeah, you're not wrong. But...

36

Mafuyu

My mom knows that things will become much harder if I don't study and do well on the entrance exams...

37

Mafuyu

So...

38

Mafuyu

So... I...

39

Mafuyu

I said that I'd step away from music...

40

Ena

...!

41

Ena

What?! You actually told her that?!

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42

Mafuyu

Yes...

43

Ena

And you're really okay with that...?
None of this bothers you?

44

Mafuyu

...

45

Mafuyu

If I study and bide my time, by the time I'm in university... I might be able to pick it back up...

46

Mafuyu

So, for now...

47

Ena

And yet, you're still here making music with us...

48

Mafuyu

That's what I still don't understand...

49

Mafuyu

The other day, Ena, when you said, “You wouldn't be in SEKAI if you thought your mom was right.”

50

Mafuyu

I agree with you.

51

Mafuyu

It made me wonder why am I doing the opposite of what my mom is telling me to do...

52

Ena

Because that's what you wanted to do, right...?

53

Ena

You want to make music and go to SEKAI. It doesn't matter what she says. You're not willing to give those things up. You want to be a part of N25. Am I wrong?

54

Ena

It's only natural for you to feel that way.

55

Mafuyu

It is...?

56

Ena

Yeah.

57

Ena

Just look at me. I draw because I want to draw, and I believe I'll be rewarded in the future.

58

Ena

So, I would think that there's a part of you that knows what would truly make you happy. And it's not what your mom decides...

59

Mafuyu

What makes me happy...?

60

Mafuyu

But I...

61

Len

<Mafuyu...?>

62

Ena

(This is a tough one...)

63

Ena

(I get that her mom means a lot to her... But why can't Mafuyu just say what she wants to do.)

64

Ena

(I mean, based on our conversation, it's clear that her heart lies elsewhere.)

65

Ena

(Hmm... What if it were me in her shoes? Would things have turned out differently...?)

66

Ena

(If my parents constantly pushed their ideals onto me because it's “for my sake”...)

67

Ena

(Would I have turned into Mafuyu...?)

68

Ena

Let's take your mom out of the equation for a second, Mafuyu. What do you want to do?

69

Mafuyu

I don't know...

70

Mafuyu

But I want to make music with all of you...

71

Ena

Mafuyu...

72

Ena

Okay...

73

Ena

Then, as a fellow member of N25, I'll do what I can to help.

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74

Ena

At the same time, “being yourself” is probably easier said than done in your case.

75

Ena

So, why don't you use today to practice doing just that? It'll be your chance to do whatever you want...

76

Mafuyu

What...?

77

Ena

Wait, it's already 25:00?!
I need to get to work! I totally lost track of the time while drawing...!

78

Mafuyu

Work...?

79

Ena

On N25 stuff! Don't you also have work to do?

80

Mafuyu

Am I allowed to...?

81

Ena

Huh? You're kidding, right?
Kanade's probably done polishing up her song, which means Mizuki and I need you to finish writing your lyrics.

82

Ena

Anyway, lemme open up Nightcord.

83

Mafuyu

Okay...

Next Chapter: The Light I Saw Next To Me